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Suicide: ‘I write this to tell you, I am done’

Suicide is wishing I was dead,

Suicide is profound in my head.

It feels like I am trapped,

On my back, all my sorrows wrapped.

Suicidal Ideation all around,

I am falling in a well, deep down.

There is no way out, surrounded by doubts,

It is like a drought.

Complete blackout.

Enveloped in darkness, there is no light,

Me versus my thoughts, that’s the fight.

Grief surrounds, within me, I drown.

Chaos in my head, in no time i will be dead.

Nothing to say, nothing to hear,

All i feel, is intense fear.

As time passes by, tears roll down my cheek,

The hope of my survival is bleak.

In the end,

This letter i send.

‘Sorry Mum,

This is your son,

I write this to tell you,

I’m done.’

…this too shall pass.

Hey, i hope everyone is doing good. Today, the 2nd of July, reminded me of two things; (1) Five months for this year to end. (2) It’s been a while since i last posted. The onset of monsoon and the thought of going away from home in a couple of days to commence something new has made me contemplate about my future;

Yet to be achieved dreams,

remembering ones childhood, Oh that laughter and scream.

Doing things that intimidate you; Questioning ‘Why am i doing this?’

‘Am i not already sick.’

Hoping to meet people that were last seen year/years back,

capabilities replacing areas that you lack.

Pondering over mistakes,

regretting decisions as life allows no retakes.

Yet striving hard to strike a balance, living to the fullest and surpassing any challenge!

Nazia Begum.

*I write this for those of you who are going through a though time or questioning your capabilities; do not worry mate, ….this too shall pass.*

Worded: (day 13)

  1. Parched- withered, dried up and dead
  2. Undaunted- still enthusiastic despite difficulties
  3. Perturbation- the state of being anxious about something that has happened
  4. Stygian- hellish
  5. Highbrow- intellectual
  6. Ancillary- serving as a help
  7. Taper- gradually decrease
  8. Ethereal- something that is light, airy and delicate, celestial.

Worded: (day 11)

  1. Satiated- to give someone so much of something that they do not feel they want anymore, gorge, jade
  2. Angular- stiff in character or manner, opinionated
  3. Awry- turned or twisted to one side
  4. Lucre- profits or money
  5. Egregiousness- quality of being extremely bad
  6. Cataclysm- a sudden disaster or a violent event that causes change, a flood or a war
  7. Execrable- very bad
  8. Stem- stop something that is flowing from spreading or increasing, contain, withstand

Worded: (day 8)

1. Swindle- deprive of by deceit

2. Propulsion- force that drives something forward

3. Trivial- not serious, not worth considering

4. Discern- recognise as being different or distinct

5. Strictures- severe criticism, censure

6. Erudition- learnedness, intellectualism, knowledge.

The Terrifying Truth About Skin Bleaching Products| Refinery29

Stop this before it’s too late,

Trust me this is no clickbait.

For acceptance, skin bleaching,

This is what our society has been teaching?

Despite knowing the harmful effects we use it,

Today I ask, why can’t we refuse it?

Is such toxicity needed?

It’s equal to the state post self harm, skin that bleeded.

Protect yourself from such harm,

Right now it’s ringing, it’s an alarm.

–Nazia Begum.